Sunday, October 14, 2012

God Speed Papa...We Love You

We said good bye to Papa last night for our first deployment, my first not his.  It was a bit surreal.  I've known this was coming for over a year now and we've had time apart as he did his "work up" (6 months of training before the actual deployment).  Even still, when it came time to hug him for the last time and watch him walk out the gate...I was completely at a loss for words.  One because if I tried to talk I would've sounded like this..."baaaah, and then...waaaaah...but....noooo"; two because it was hard to wrap my head around him leaving for SIX months, a half of a year...In baby and toddler time, that is A LOT!  And in mommy time?  That is FOREVER!

The good thing is that the boys are still so young that although they love Papa - love knowing he is around and Xavi is loving the rough house play and wrestle that he does so well - Mama is the source of food, sleep, and major security.  They won't remember this time and it's less critical in the father son relationship schematic.  So...if he has to go, then I'm glad it is now and not when they are older.
Playing with best garbage truck EVER
We have had a wonderful month after his training was done to "re-integrate" as a family full time AND  he was here to welcome Nico to our pack.  I was so thankful to have that much time together both with the newborn and with Xavi.  There were lots of fun times with Papa and I wanted to record some good ones here so we'll always remember.  As I've said before, there is no one I'd rather see my babies play with, sit with, be held by, and loved on than this handsome man of mine.  (I always talk about how handsome he is...because he is!...because it embarrasses him a little bit...and because I know that's the most surface thing I can identify him by...he is that and so much more.)
Mario and I didn't get to sleep together much while he was home that gets a little crowded in a queen with Xavi, me, Mario, Diego, and now Nico.  I miss having that time with him...and I do miss the sleeping part of sleeping as it were.  Currently, I've been sandwiched between Nico and Xavi...all crammed onto my side of the bed...even when Mario isn't in bed.  I keep reminding myself that this is temporary...and we'll get a king when papa gets home!

"MORE!"  "MORE!"

Papa and Nico on the night he was born.

Helping out with tubby time

Gazing at Papa...always very calm in his arms

Kissing brother...such a good big brother

Family walk with new "Dualie" stroller...Xavi opting to walk instead of ride

On the beach with Papa close behind...heading to the swings

Proud papa...sleepy time for baby

...AND Papa
Discovering YouTube videos of garbage trucks, diggers, and Thomas

Peek a Boo...I see you

"FISHIES" Aquarium near LegoLand

Getting Nico's birth certificate and doing more gazing at Papa

And another favorite...throwing rocks into the ocean with papa
When Mario and I first started dating, he asked me up front how I would feel about him going back into the military.  Without hesitation I answered that I would be proud to support him in that way.  And I still feel that way.  Without hesitation, I am proud of his decision to return to serve.  I am proud of his hard work and dedication to his job.  I am proud of how strong he is both physically and mentally.   My heart swells knowing that my man can "operate" under the most demanding and challenging circumstances.  Without hesitation, I know that I did well to choose him as the father of my children and that we were "meant to be" (whatever that means).  I am proud that he has chosen ME to have his children and stand beside him through it all.  And I will feel so proud that in the end, I was stronger than I knew I could be, allowing him to do what needs to be done and keep our family together.  I will be here to open the gate welcoming him back home and I'm pretty sure I'll be "speechless" then too..only this time it will be through tears of joy.      Godspeed my love.  Godspeed Papa.

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