Monday, June 18, 2012

Happy Father's Day

I'm usually asleep by now but since I had to finish my homework due in a few hours, and of course I am doing it at the last moment, I thought I'd quick put a word up on our special day with papa.

Actually we had a whole week with Mario.  The huge hole he leaves whenever he has to leave is there and our hearts ache because we miss him so.  We had a lot of fun though and made some new memories to hold onto until we can be together again.

I'm thankful for Mario as the father of my babies.  He works hard, has integrity, is honest, strong, forthright, and multi-talented (aka:  McGyver).  He's much more mellow than me and can appreciate the little moments that others take for granted.  He loves his family, niece and nephews are particularly special.  He loves his little boy and plays with him like no one else can.  He loves my family and truly cares about who they are and who they are to me.  He loves animals and does a great job (beter than me even) of taking time every day to hug, pet, and/or kiss the doggies.  He "discovered" me as a "blossoming flower" when I was starting over again, and continues to be patient with me as we deepen our relationship.  Thank you Mario.  We love you and can't wait to see you again.  Be safe and come home soon.  We'll be here waiting.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


About two weeks ago, Xavi started to ask to go on a "walk".  Sometimes he would grab my hand (fingers) and pull me in the direction he wanted to go.  Some days he would yell "Dee Go" and continue until I put the leash on Diego.  Other days he grabs his little scooter and pushes it down the street...leaving me to race to get my shizzle together and follow him as fast as I can. I have started grabbing the stroller so that I don't end up carrying him all the way home from the corner.  What I need is a Radio Flyer, with wood rails?  do they still make those?  Today he was out the gate as soon as I had pants on him.  I raced after with his shoes and the stroller.  We  ended up walking almost all the way down to the beach...almost a mile on those little legs.  We did stop for a snack break and a water break and a puddle break and a ducky break.  Two little mama duckies with 7 babies each...oh and grampa phil?  Xavi can say "ca cree" (concrete).

This afternoon I packed up the bike to go for a ride to the park.  Xavi wanted to walk off we went.  We didn't go as far but he was content to just throw rocks in the bushes, practice walking up and down the stairs, and then let mama carry him home.  At home I turned on the sprinkler and let him run nude in it.  I sat down with a book, not fully expecting to read more than a page or two...45 minutes later!!!! I realized that he was playing by himself very happily.  This continued for another hour!!  I was tip toeing around so as to not disturb independent play time..or disrupt his happy place.  He was putting rocks from his bucket into the dump truck and then back again..making all the right noises.  It only ended when I did the countdown to bedtime.

I had to call my sister to make sure that I was doing the right thing...or if I was supposed to force some sort of enrichment activity.  I was very encouraged to hear that it was ok to stay home, to do "nothing", and to enjoy independent play time without guilt.

Again...tomorrow is another day.  And we'll get to see Papa...who can teach him new noises.  Yay!!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

One of those days

I don't think Xavi felt very well today...he was grumpy and fell asleep by 10:20 after yelling at me for most of the morning, then we went to the pool to play and he wanted nothing to do with it.  He did, however,  enjoy running on the soccer field (for free) and throwing his ball around the parking lot (for free).  So we ran errands.  I figure that if he isn't happy playing or doing his thing, we might as well get some stuff done.  And he was happier...go figure.  Needless to say he went to bed early and so will mom. the highlight of the day had to be...
riding on Mr Eric' s tractor (our neighbor)!  This photo made my day...and as I told him, tomorrow is another day.  Sweet dreams sweet boy.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Xavi is still good at saying "no"...but lately he has been saying "yep" too.  I'm not sure if he knows exactly what it means but if I ask to confirm that he wants more.... he nods his head emphatically two or three times saying "yep", "yep", "yep".  Growing up and right before my eyes.

Tonight when I put him to bed, he wasn't as sound asleep as usual.  He lifted up his head and watched me with a little sleepy smile.  He didn't cry, didn't whimper, just looked at me with his sweet face and smiled.  I sat next to him and patted his bum, watching his eyes flutter close again.  Finally he curled up on his tummy, butt in the air, and fell all the way asleep.

We got to talk to papa right before bed...hopefully that gives him good dreams.  It sure made my day.  Funny how when you get to talk to someone everyday you may take their voice for granted...but when you never know when you'll hear it, just their voice can lift you up.  We get to see him Sunday for a whole week!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Overflowing cup (s)

Today we had a day without any major meltdowns, or major events.  We just ran some errands...played in the park...took a nice nap...yelled at Diego...looked at the mourning dove nesting in the palm tree next to our driveway (new word? beak...I taught him yesterday but all of a sudden today, he started saying "beak, beak" in the back of the car, little sponge)...chatted with neighbors...watched the diggers...and kept a look out for trucks wherever we went.  And I love it.  With each hug, I couldn't help but know that my cup runs over...actually all our cups!  Here' s  a quick peek:
It was 8am.  Naked and in the sprinkler.  My water boy

Every now and then, Xavi gives me the best smiles and it's hard to get it on film.  So I caught this one while in the tub...had to take 10 to get this shot.  

I think he looks a lot like Mario in this shot.  Handsome boy!

It is washable...catching him to wash it off is another story.

million dollar smile

"O-pu"...means open please!  Can you see the stash of markers in Sasha's bed?  I never know where I am going to find a bunch...

He loved playing with this monster truck...GRAVE DIGGER! (you have to growl when you say this)
Our neighbors down the street had two older boys that had a garage full of toys and they were very generous in letting Xavi come play (or watch) anytime.  But they have since moved away, SAD!  I can't find this model if you happen to see one?  Please get it...i'll pay for the postage!

Xavi falls and bangs himself a lot.  He's pretty tough and gets over "owies" pretty quickly.  Sometimes he comes to me for a kiss to make it all better...sometimes he wants me to kiss the finger or toe or head...sometimes he just kisses me on the lips thinking I need a kiss.  Melts my heart.  
Overflowing indeed.  

Sunday, June 3, 2012

One of "those" days

Today was the day of our first public temper tantrum.

I had to document the occurrence since I spent a lot of time last night gushing about our wonderfully ordinary day yesterday.  And in a way, it's kind of funny but very predictable with kids it seems...speak out loud about a certain success or strength or practice...and guaranteed you will be tested sooner than later.  My patience, my endurance, my resolve, my parenting...were all tested today.  At 2, I looked at the clock and counted the hours to bedtime, not knowing how I was going to make it.

Well, we made it and I was patient and the end.  If anything, after the morning we had, I focused really hard on being present and not trying to escape, hide, or wish time away.  In the end, he started having diarrheal explosions around 5pm and I must believe that his tummy was bothering him most of the day...

After the success of yesterday's adventure, I felt brave and thought we could try to go to the San Clemente farmer's market.  We went to the San Diego farmer's market and had a great time so I figured we could give it a know, have some breakfast at my favorite spot, Capt Maury's, then get some bee pollen and other produce, laugh, play, hug....etc etc.  Well I should have packed it up before we even ordered our breakfast.  He was running down the sidewalk, refusing to sit with mama for any length of time...I was stubborn and set my jaw. I knew he needed to eat and tried my hardest to convince him of that.  Then  i knew we needed to return a pair of shoes that didn't fit right and we had fifteen minutes to kill.  I got him in the stroller kicking and screaming and I got the stupid bee pollen.  He settled in but I knew it wasn't for long.  I returned the shoes...only store credit...not going back there, so had to pick something out then and there...cute board shorts and tee shirt...problem with computer and sales lady's math skills...starting to Thomas the train set to occupy him while we sorted out the math...happy boy.  Happy that is until some PIA girl aged 7 or 8 started to grab the little trains Xavi was playing with.  He started to scream and cry.  I tried to explain sharing to him while my pleadings to the stupid girl's mom who was standing right there to give him the toy back.  The little girl knew what she was doing and stood there looking at him.  I was hoping he could recover and we'd leave on a happy note.  Nope.  Got him back in the stroller kicking screaming crying and clutching two of the trains....didn't notice til we got out of the door and the same stupid little girl stared at us and asked "Why is he taking those trains with him?"  Finally the stupid mom says "mind your own business Izzy".  I tried to take them back but was unable I went back into the store to wait til "Izzy" and mom left our sight...and then wheeled my sobbing little boy to the car.  But I did also manage to catch a few disdainful looks from a few ladies passing by...boy, do I wish I had a snappy come back in that moment but all I could think of was obscenities so I kept my mouth shut.  We got home and he fell asleep as soon as we got to his room.  Poor baby.  Poor mama.  I headed straight to bed myself.  I had kept my cool, I hadn't yelled at anyone, and I knew he was just tired...but I had a headache and a  stomachache and wanted to curl up in the fetal position.

I was tested this morning and part of me is convinced that I just won't be leaving the house much once #2 comes along.  The other part of me says ...well you survived today, tomorrow is another day and even though today wasn't an ordinary extraordinary day with my little love, it really is the exception not the rule.  I also realized that I left the house without brushing my teeth...and I always am out of sorts if I don't wash two things and brush two things morning and night (brush teeth and hair, wash  hands and face).  So in the end, I'm just going to make sure that I do so and hope that next time, we do better.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

"Ordinary" day?

Today was a day like most every other day...we've settled into a good routine and range of options for how we spend our days.  But as I was putting him to bed I knew I had to post about today...why?  A hundred small reasons that make spending so much time with my little boy so extra ordinary.  I'll list a few, in no particular order.
1. The garbage truck comes three times a day (green waste, garbage, and recycling).  We can hear it coming up our street and when Xavi hears it, he points to his ear, makes an "oh" with his mouth, and races to me to pick him up so we can run outside to watch it pull up, pick up the cans, and "rawrrrr" dump the contents in the truck.  I've run out there in my pajama pants and tank top.  The driver knows us now and waves every time.  We wave back and say "thank you".  Then he backs the truck down our street..."beep beep beep beep..."  He cried after the last one was "all gone" today.  There has been  a few times that he's raced down the street to catch him again as he comes out of a side street just down from us.

2.  Lately, as I get him dressed he starts yelling to go on a "WALK", yelling at me to put shoes on, yelling at "DIGA" to come here and get his leash on, and then running out the gate pushing his little scooter as fast as his little legs will go.  A few times we've made it down to the end of our street but then I've had to carry him all the way back up.  Mario said I shouldn't do that anymore (he's right) and I'm looking for a wagon on craig's list.  In the meantime, I grab our stroller and push it in case Xavi gets tired.  Today we checked out the huge "digger" down the street as they demolished a house on the bluff.  He was enthralled and could have sat there all day.

3.  We also go to the beach just down the hill from our house regularly.."Poche's" beach.  He likes to let the waves chase him, or go for a stroll in mom's arms as she hunts for sea glass.  There is a small water reclamation pond where we watched a mommy and daddy duck swim.  Today we saw the momma and her 9! baby duckies.  So cute!  Xavi proceeded to throw rocks and sand into the pond (not at the ducks) but loved listening to the different noises each rock made.  Sometimes he would point at me and say "mamma"...meaning I was to throw it and see what noise I could make.

4.  We have snacks ready at any point during the day...I never want to be without something for him to eat and/or drink as he always seems to be hungry lately.  I also bought a folding kids table and chairs for us to set up in front of Thomas during meal times.  We sit down and eat our meals together.  I can always tell when he is done because he starts to throw the dogs, at the floor, or mix things into one disgusting pile THEN throw it.  I'm still working on the "we only throw balls, Xavi"but we have a ways to go.  He loves meat and fruit, hummus and veggies (green peppers), green juice, potatoes, and squash cooked in coconut oil.  Of course he also loves "bunnies" either the honey graham ones or the cheddar snack mix ones, "shack" = fruit snacks, "cookie" = protein bar.
5.  Today was the first day we went to the new local pool where they have a beautiful 50 meter lap pool, another 25meter lap pool, and a kids water playground with zero depth entry.  I was nervous because it was a new adventure for us and wasn't sure if he would have fun...and it took him a bit of time to settle in to the noisy kids and splashing water.  But once he did...he was going a million miles an, in/out, up/down, throwing the ball, rolling the truck, laughing and smiling..til he was chattering so much he succumbed to being wrapped in a towel (unheard of) and warmed up in the shower.  I knew he would be very happy as earlier in the week, on one of our walks, he found a puddle and was lying down IN it before I had a chance to react.

It took 45 minutes to get him to sleep tonight.  In the past this might have driven me over the edge...but my patience has doubled in the last few weeks (miraculously) and I just enjoyed each minute watching him fight his eyes closing and drifting off.  We went into his room, and got out the books he loves to read over and over again...Jesus storybook bible, Thomas and his busy day "in stereo", guess how much I love you, and of course his picture book of family.  After he kicked a few more "GOALS!!" and I wrangled him into his diaper and jammies, we settled on the chair to read stories.  He kissed papa and recited the names of each family member...after mama and papa, he knows "Matt" the best.  But tonight he said, "Car..lo" (Grampa), "Tod", "Rojer", "Owee", and "Mimi" without prompting.  Not sure why he hesitates on the sister names...we are working on it though.  I just held him and patted his back, reminding him that it was "sleepy time".  Put the truck down.  kiss the ball night night.  And finally settled him in his big bed.  ON the best nights he has been sleeping until 2 am!!! on his own..which means that last night, I had more than 3 hours of solid private sleeping time!!!

Now that it's quiet, I miss him (but still want him to sleep sleep sleep!!!).  I clean up the mess we made all day, make some tea, and settle in front of the TV...which for the first time all day is on WITHOUT playing a Thomas DVD.  I usually give up on the crap and head to bed to read. I go...It's been an ordinary, yet so extraordinary day...I never want to forget.