Monday, July 16, 2012

Frustration - 20 month old style

In the last month, our lives have been a little bit crazy.  We spent almost a week in San Diego learning to live with a toddler out of a hotel room.  Then we went to Wisconsin to stay with Gramma and Grampa for a week plus a 6 hour road trip to Minnesota to see Rachel and family.  THEN we came home to a long weekend with Papa.  THEN we had a visit from Gramma Nina, plus we got to see papa again for a weekend.  Ups and downs.  Ins and outs.  here and there.  home then gone.  Throw in a few falls, bumps and bruises, being off sleep/eat schedule, and it's fair to say we've had some rough days lately. As an adult, albeit a sometimes flexibility challenged adult, I can pretty much go with the flow and "get" what is going on.  But my poor little Xavi seemed to feel the effects of being on a roller coaster ride and I could definitely tell he was frustrated and sometimes confused.  Even then, he did very well, until this past week.
hello bricks...fat lip, bruised cheek

Got a new sandbox

Gramma was here to spend time with us, especially Xavi, and he would play with long as I was right there or close by.  He read with her, almost long enough for one story, until he wanted me to be there too.  He kissed and hugged her and flashed her winning smiles every time he saw her.  He knew her name "Nina" and even this weekend after she was gone, he called a lady we saw on the street Nina (same hair color, same stature (petite :))).  They played at the park with Miss Debbie while mama had "free time".  But he wasn't exactly himself...he was much more touchy, sensitive, needy and clingy than usual while we are he had  a day where he slept just 15' and acted like Gramma and Debbie gave him a cup or two of coffee.  I emailed Jen, our chiropractor, and asked for her opinion.  He had just been adjusted the week before but had since fallen on his sweet little face...she fixed his neck and I thought he was on his way back.  He certainly seemed to be...

Papa came home Thursday on the train..."choo choo".  While we were waiting, he had a MAJOR explosion in his pants but seemed happy to have his "papa" home again.  Friday was swim class and I was excited since last week had gone so well...even better that Papa could come AND Gramma could watch how well Xavi was doing in the water.  Sigh.  I should have known I was setting us all up.  He got in the water with Papa and did well for the first 10 minutes.  I was watching on the sideline but thought I could get in like I did the last time Mario and I were both there (it went well!!).  It was the worst class ever.  He wouldn't do ANY of the things he normally will do, not even the "tick tock...cuckoo" song!  He played in the hot tub happily but wailed when it was time to get out and didn't stop until we left. Sigh.

The "fun" continued the rest of the weekend with Xavi being ok with papa if I was not there... but if I showed up OR if I suddenly disappeared (like to go the bathroom for 30 seconds), it was major meltdown.  "MAMAAAAA" and wanting to be picked up immediately or else!  Throwing the head... and body back with abandon.  Risking more bodily harm and more trips to Jen.  Screaming and crying uncontrollably..."NO!" I won't swing with papa.  "NO!" I want YOU to open the bubbles NOT papa.  "NO!" I don't want to be held by papa.  This behavior...broke my heart.  Literally.  It made me so sad because I know how much Xavi misses his papa and I know how Xavi relaxes when we have him near. And I know how much Mario misses Xavi when he is gone and how he often thinks about being with us again.   I had set us up with my high expectations for loving, happy family time.  I was at a total loss.  What was wrong with the little man?  Is he being "terrible two"?  Is he sensitive because of all the changes and all that is constant in life lately is mama...AND if she leaves (even just to go to the bathroom), does that mean that to him his world is crashing down?  Is he in pain?  Does he not feel well?  Do I pick him up and comfort him?  Do I let him "cry it out" and learn a lesson?  What does this mean for when there is another baby here that needs to be held, nursed, comforted 24/7?  How will we make it?  How does Xavi come out of this intact:  happy, secure, and independent?

I called Jen (at home) to ask her advice...she suspected a bowel infection and recommended an herbal tincture plus some massage at specific spinal areas.  The medicine seems to be helping but the diarrhea is still coming.  We'll have to wait and see...when and how my little man can get his feet under him again, returning to the happy, independent, content, secure boy I spend all day every day with.  We'll have to let him get his feet under himself again and see if this pattern is repeated on subsequent family times.  I'll have to get my expectations under control (constant battle) and wait for the next visit with papa (and Gramma Nina).  And be thankful for another opportunity to have special family time...whatever that may look like.

1 comment:

  1. I've never been lucky enough to see you and Xavi together, but you sound like you are an amazing Mom, so "in tune" to your son!