Monday, August 13, 2012

One last adventure...Hawaii

We had a chance to meet up with Mario in Hawaii on his way back from his travels to the Philipines and Guam.  It would be just 6 days together in "paradise" but likely our last opportunity as a family of three.  I underestimated how tough the trip would be and feel like I'm just starting to recover from the travel alone.  Plus my lap is growing smaller everyday and this was the last trip with my "baby" traveling as an "infant in arms".
He was good as a busy almost two year old can be...but with an hour to go, I was all done.
In toddler time, an hour is an eternity.

Direct Flight...but Mario was delayed so we had another adventure to negotiate in getting to the beautiful Hale Koa hotel on Waikiki.  

If it looks early, its because it IS early.  4:30 wake up for the first two days...our hotel was right on the beach which made things a lot easier.  

We would get some fruit and a muffin then go see the ocean first thing.  In the afternoon, the beach was too hot and windy for him, so we went to the pool then.  We swam, had Hawaiian shave ice, chased birds, and went everywhere with a bucket.  

Mario surfed most mornings before work so we were all out the door early but met up again poolside in the afternoon.  

The first full day I attempted to go to the beach after nap time...first and last attempt.  By the time I hauled everything to the water's edge, set up, recovered our flying umbrella missile TWICE, then moved us again after the waves ran up over our towels and stuff, settled Xavi in with his toys and snack, applied sunscreen...he informed me that he was "all done" and started to walk back towards the hotel.  Mind you that was only 10 minutes of frustration...I wanted to cry.
I felt like such a failure.

Xavi on the other hand was content to play "BIG Truck...Trashman"...everything would get picked up and put into the "Whoa, big Trash".  Here he is scooping up ice spilled on the grass and putting in this receptacle.  Seriously..he did this for 20 minutes before I was finally able to move us to the pool.  

We said good morning and good night to the giant Koi that lived at the hotel as well.   He walked along this wall and yelled "Whoa...fishy".  If we tried to hold him so as to prevent him from going for a dip, he pushed our hands away.  Very determined and becoming very independent.

Turtles were next door at the Hilton along with Penguins and more "Whoa, big fish"

Another boundary to push

Mario took us to another hotel that had dolphins...but surprisingly that didn't hold Xavi's attention for too long. ..

It was the turtles that he wanted to see more of...

story time with Papa

Our view from the hotel...a few nights we sat out and listened to the live music from our lanai while Xavi slept.  How I yearned to be one of the "normal" people that could sit out at the beach side bar, having a cocktail, listening to music, and having adult conversation...sigh.  It was probably a good thing that I went to bed early every night since my little chirpy early bird roused me without fail before sunrise.  

One night, we had "dinner" with our friends Amra and Ian.  I put it in quotes because I didn't really eat anything.  I did, however,  end up with a child head to toe plus my shirt front smeared in butter and left the table with about a cup of butter spread all over its glass top.  Judge me if you must, but it kept him occupied while we attempted to converse.  A & I were such troopers, not having any kids yet themselves, and I felt as normal as I had since we got there.  

Xavi didn't like to wear trunks in the pool or at the he ended up mostly wearing just a diaper or this speedo like suit.  We did go swim in the ocean everyday...some days more happily than others. Every day at least two people (always a woman) commented on how huge I looked...or made comments not so discreetly about either my belly or...?  Let's just say it didn't do much for my self esteem...but I met another mama, pregnant with her 4th, due in September and she had  a boy Xavi's age.  What a relief and a blessing!  We bonded at the kiddie pool on two different saved at least two days from frustration and tears.  But seriously...weren't most of these women probably in my position at one time or another??  Wouldn't they of all people know what NOT to say to a large pregnant woman?

I had to include this picture because breakfast at the buffet was a daily adventure.  Somedays he ate ok...most days his toys ate well...and one day he grabbed a whole plate of food and dropped it on the floor with a crash.  A sympathetic woman from the next table jumped up to help me since Xavi was in my lap and she could see me know how when you are on the verge of tears it's almost worse when someone helps you, pushing you right past self control?  well, I had to put my sunglasses on and escape with quick apologies to our server.  

The last flight, I was never so happy to get back.  Xavi was the most active he's ever been on a plane...hitting me, pulling my hair, yelling, spilling things...our seatmate took pity on me and to my shock, Xavi went to this grandmotherly saint for a walk up and down the aisle.  I'm so thankful for helpers like this that don't ask but just DO...and save a mom's sanity and dignity for a brief moment in time.  But that brief moment means the world to a mama in need.  I didn't quite know what to do with myself...I watched them walk, and breathed in and out.  

HOME!  Finally home, he was perpetual motion at 11pm...DIGO !  CHA CHA!  BIG TRUCK!  and then he slept for 6 hours and 45 minutes ON HIS OWN.  Our new record.
I had to analyze why this trip was so hard for me when I had such positive anticipation and for the most part, a lovely time.  Why was I so weepy?  Why did a breakfast plate on the floor send me off in tears and runny nose out the door?  Why did a little wind, water, and discombobulation make me feel so defeated?  I figured out as we were leaving (of course) that somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew this was our last  adventure as a family of three.  It was the last time my attention would not be divided and when Mario and I might have had some meaningful time together.  But alas, it WAS hard with a very busy boy who was quickly developing a strong independence and a penchant for the word NO!  Nor was I able to "do" some of the things I had always loved to do, especially in Hawaii...I was mourning the loss of simple pleasures like being able to sit on the beach soaking in the sun and surf, read books poolside, look decent and feel comfortable in a swim suit, not to mention hike, swim, surf, even paddle, have a cocktail or beer at sunset, and hold hands or have a conversation with my husband without one of us racing to catch him from running off some cliff.  I am getting excited to welcome #2 to our family, but know that it will further separate me/us from those simple pleasures.  Are we ready?  Can we do it?  With those "losses", however, comes more joy, more love, and more purpose than I've ever known in my life...and for that I am thankful.  We'll just have to make up for lost time in about 18 years.


  1. There will be MANY more adventures! It gets better and better. Thanks for sharing and for your honest appraisal. LOVE the pictures!

  2. Thanks Mom! Can't believe you did this 4 times!! wow...xo