Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Sunday was my first Mother's day and Monday, we marked six months since Xavi was born. 
 How do I express what being a mom has meant to me? 
I'm tired and need to go to bed.  I don't have time to completely answer that question...but I want to mark these days as they pass...they go too fast as it is and when I look back, I want to remember each of these moments, these milestones. 

What I do know is that I had no idea how much my mom loved me until 11/9/10.  I now know what unconditional love feels like and that if there is nothing I wouldn't do for my child, then there is nothing in this world that can separate me from the love of my parents.  I'm pretty sure I've written about it before and often in previous posts but the depth and power of this love surprises me every day.  It is scary at the same time because it leaves me feeling so vulnerable. 
Thank you mom for loving me, for giving me roots, and for giving me wings.  I love you so!
 Our baby was born six months ago...that night, we worked together to bring him into this world but it was he who brought us life.  (deep, I know...but it IS past my bedtime)  When I look at him now; eating food, smiling, playing, and loving us...I wonder "what did I do to deserve him"?  Someone at our wedding reception (one year ago this month) remarked that he wasn't sure but it seemed as if Mario and I were in some way "healing each other".  And in many ways, we are..for a variety of reasons.  Xavi has brought a special healing and for me, an acute awareness of grace. I've made more than my share of mistakes in this life and although regret is never helpful, I do regret decisions that I've made.  But here I am...with a second, a third, and so on...chance at living life, having a family of my own, and raising a little boy. 
Grace.  Thank you Lord.  Happy six months baby...I look forward to every moment.  
Grace.  I'm positive that I'll need more before I'm done. 

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