Two months ago I went into labor with Nico. I've wanted to write his birth story so that we will always remember the details...I hope I remember them sufficiently after two months and some decent sleep deprivation. But before we discuss the contractions and the pushing...I wanted to share photos from along the way to his birthday.
I had a harder time with Nico's pregnancy...not physically but mentally, emotionally. Not to mention that this time around I was chasing around a very busy and active toddler...much less time to rest when needed, no time to pamper the baby bump and cherish the baby energy. I went to the doctor and demanded to know how this happened. We were surprised and so I needed to know everything: when (I had no idea when my last period was and so had no idea when we conceived or when we were due), what (boy, girl, one, two?) , where (no comment), why (see below), and how (well, that is obvious but I still asked, haha).
We weren't planning on getting pregnant...my mantra had been that we would wait until Mario was done deploying before I got pregnant, let alone give birth to another baby. I wanted to nurse Xavi until he was 2, get back in good shape and get my nutrition stores back up, THEN think about #2. Well...I had a feeling something was "up" so I took a test. It was negative so I thought we "passed". But then it didn't get better and I had Mario take my pulse...when you are pregnant, your pulse changes and an acupuncturist can distinguish the difference. Anyway, he got a weird look on his face and said "Maybe you should take another test in the morning". I did and we "failed". It was positive. We were pregnant. I cried.
This wasn't our plan and all I could think about was that I had somehow betrayed Xavi and that he would be short changed. Then I thought about how we were going to manage with Mario's upcoming deployment, my work schedule, etc.. I just couldn't see how we were going to do it. Mario was more positive and upbeat...I just wasn't sure and I pouted a little bit. I went over it in my brain all the time but we HAD used precautions and there really wasn't anything or anyone to blame...except fate. Nico was destined, pre-ordained to be part of our family at exactly the right time, whether we though it was or not.
How could I not be thrilled that we had created a new life? What was wrong with me? Well, it took about half of the pregnancy and many tears to accept the "situation", to begin to see the positives, the blessing...and now, on the other side? I am so in love that I can't imagine NOT having Nico. Maybe it wasn't MY plan but thank goodness"someone" else had other plans for our family, for Xavi, for me. Thank goodness that things don't work out the way we want them to, the way we try to make things turn out. Thank goodness that "someone" creates life and allows things to happen in our lives that are way better than what we were trying to manipulate.
I was let go from my employment. Mario's activation date was moved up to coincide EXACTLY with the last day of work (meaning that he was fully employed EXACTLY as I was no longer employed, leaving us in a fair financial situation). I was able to focus on Xavi full time and prepare for the baby 2. I couldn't have planned it better. While I was very sad to close that chapter, I could look forward to the next without worry, without added stress, and without pushing us all to the limits.
My biggest worry and fear was that I wished I could've spent time with Xavi full time...devoting time and energy to him and his well being without other preoccupations like work, travel, or another baby. So I made the most of the time we had and poured all I could into my little boy. Nico was accommodating and made my life easy with a healthy, "easy" pregnancy. I had few problems, even at and up until the end. No pain, no carpal tunnel, no exhaustion...just Braxton Hicks when I over did it. I nursed Xavi and still do...so I was able to keep producing milk while I was pregnant. Nico moved a lot, much more than Xavi did in the womb. My whole belly would gyrate and ripple with his wiggles and stretches. I felt his hiccups and could almost see the foot that kept poking me in the right flank.
Xavi liked my belly. It was like a little (or big) shelf to prop up on, sleep on, sit on...so I knew little brother was going to come out tough from the get go. We talked about brother and he knew he was in my belly but I doubt he could really grasp what brother meant. But he still plays with my belly (now it's squishy) and finds great joy in it, so at least he still has that fun.
We hired Karen Pecora, Xavi's midwife and made our birth plan to have #2 at home, in the water, like the first time. I got chiropractic care from my friend and great support, Dr. Jen Padrta, took my whole food supplements, and got exercise chasing Xavi (see above photo).
I cherish the time we had as a family of three and made sure I was present for each outing, however "everyday" it seemed. Beach days, store outings, afternoons playing in the sun...all of it was special and I'll never forget those days with my little guy.
One of my favorite memories was the night we painted my belly. It was a few days before Nico was born. These are the last photos of me with Nico still secured within. We made a big mess and colored mama's belly. Mario helped with the design and overall vision (plus some final flourishing touches of a few choice words) while Xavi added artistic colorings and specific eccentricities. Getting ready to welcome brother...
to be continued...
