Today was the day of our first public temper tantrum.
I had to document the occurrence since I spent a lot of time last night gushing about our wonderfully ordinary day yesterday. And in a way, it's kind of funny but very predictable with kids it seems...speak out loud about a certain success or strength or practice...and guaranteed you will be tested sooner than later. My patience, my endurance, my resolve, my parenting...were all tested today. At 2, I looked at the clock and counted the hours to bedtime, not knowing how I was going to make it.
Well, we made it and I was patient and loving...to the end. If anything, after the morning we had, I focused really hard on being present and not trying to escape, hide, or wish time away. In the end, he started having diarrheal explosions around 5pm and I must believe that his tummy was bothering him most of the day...
After the success of yesterday's adventure, I felt brave and thought we could try to go to the San Clemente farmer's market. We went to the San Diego farmer's market and had a great time so I figured we could give it a try...you know, have some breakfast at my favorite spot, Capt Maury's, then get some bee pollen and other produce, laugh, play, hug....etc etc. Well I should have packed it up before we even ordered our breakfast. He was running down the sidewalk, refusing to sit with mama for any length of time...I was stubborn and set my jaw. I knew he needed to eat and tried my hardest to convince him of that. Then i knew we needed to return a pair of shoes that didn't fit right and we had fifteen minutes to kill. I got him in the stroller kicking and screaming and I got the stupid bee pollen. He settled in but I knew it wasn't for long. I returned the shoes...only store credit...not going back there, so had to pick something out then and there...cute board shorts and tee shirt...problem with computer and sales lady's math skills...starting to squirm...spot Thomas the train set to occupy him while we sorted out the math...happy boy. Happy that is until some PIA girl aged 7 or 8 started to grab the little trains Xavi was playing with. He started to scream and cry. I tried to explain sharing to him while E.S.P.ing my pleadings to the stupid girl's mom who was standing right there to give him the toy back. The little girl knew what she was doing and stood there looking at him. I was hoping he could recover and we'd leave on a happy note. Nope. Got him back in the stroller kicking screaming crying and clutching two of the trains....didn't notice til we got out of the door and the same stupid little girl stared at us and asked "Why is he taking those trains with him?" Finally the stupid mom says "mind your own business Izzy". I tried to take them back but was unable to...so I went back into the store to wait til "Izzy" and mom left our sight...and then wheeled my sobbing little boy to the car. But I did also manage to catch a few disdainful looks from a few ladies passing by...boy, do I wish I had a snappy come back in that moment but all I could think of was obscenities so I kept my mouth shut. We got home and he fell asleep as soon as we got to his room. Poor baby. Poor mama. I headed straight to bed myself. I had kept my cool, I hadn't yelled at anyone, and I knew he was just tired...but I had a headache and a stomachache and wanted to curl up in the fetal position.
I was tested this morning and part of me is convinced that I just won't be leaving the house much once #2 comes along. The other part of me says ...well you survived today, tomorrow is another day and even though today wasn't an ordinary extraordinary day with my little love, it really is the exception not the rule. I also realized that I left the house without brushing my teeth...and I always am out of sorts if I don't wash two things and brush two things morning and night (brush teeth and hair, wash hands and face). So in the end, I'm just going to make sure that I do so and hope that next time, we do better.
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