Happy First Birthday Xavi Matteo!

 I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  Where did the time go?  Seriously.  I remember this day one year ago so clearly that it seems impossible that Xavi is one already.  I swear, I am just not going to blink anymore.  YIKES!  We had a happy day in the beautiful sunshine; remembering the ups and downs of this momentous year with all of its rites of passage, "firsts", and things I never thought I'd do or say. 

 Here's my top 10 list of "things that have surprised me most about being a mom".
#10:  My doggies that were once my babies are now my pets. They are still so special to me, but they definitely got a demotion, which is still surprising to Diego who still insists that he deserves a place in our bed. 
#9:  Other people's kids still annoy me, but a lot less than they used to.  And the mom with all the stuff on the airplane OR the crying child?  totally different perspective now.
#8:  I can be completely content sitting on the floor playing with child's toys, balls, or just watching Xavi be "busy" with his toys. 
#7:  Boobs no longer mean what they used to mean...and I've nursed in more public places than I thought I would AND in front of people that I swore I would never nurse in front of. 

#6:  I know what my kid's cry means and what to do about it (most of the time)...without reading books! That sure doesn't mean that I can "fix" it all the time, but 90% of the time, I'm in the ball park.  It's that 10% that gets you though, right?..."I don't know why he's crying!  Help me...maybe he sprained his vocal cords"...OR maybe he has a giant load in his pants, why oh why didn't I check this 15 minutes ago? DUH! 

#5:  My pee/poop/puke threshold has definitely increased...but I think that only extends to my kid's pee/poop/vomit.  Xavi's first three months were spent with puke encrusted hair, clothes...although past that stage, we are however dealing with the switch to cloth diapers.  I did not consider how i was going to clean poop off the diapers that I was going to now be washing and reusing...talk about up close and personal...so, I bought a diaper sprayer to minimize the hand on poop contact, only to discover that if I don't spray it just right...it goes all over the walls, floor, seat, etc. 

So, like I said...my threshold has definitely increased.

 #4:  I can survive and function (how well may be a matter of debate) on a lot less sleep than I used to think I required.  I still don't really know what it's like to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but the 5-6 that I do get is cherished and hallowed time. 
#3:  I have gone one year eating NO chips and salsa, NO onion or garlic (except on accident), two bites of ice cream, and minimal candy or products with corn syrup in them (well, until this halloween).  It's surprised me how easy it was to give up foods that cause a significant and noticeable reaction in another human being.  Ingestion and breast feeding of certain foods causes a chain reaction of sleep interruption and constant crying/whining with no poop in the pants to blame it on.  How much easier to choose healthy foods if our bodies cried, whined, and kept you up at night complaining about what certain substances are doing to us internally? Now my Guiness?  That's another story...mmmm, beer!

#2:  I finally know how much my own mom and dad love me...and what a nightmare I must have been for them at times!  I've apologized for their heartache often this past year...but again, mom and dad? I am sorry!   I can even understand why people actually choose (chuckle) to stay close to their parents after having kids...you need all the support you can get and no one is like mom when you don't know what to do with this tiny little human being.

#1:  And the number one thing that surprises me most about being a mom?  My dream car is either Mario's tank of a truck Land Cruiser (although it is currently sunbathing in Hawaii) OR a sweet, souped up MINIVAN with automatic doors and easy to flip seats!  (Yes, Uncle Mark, I owe you.  I forgot what we bet but I remember swearing that I would NEVER own or drive a minivan...) 

Ultimately, it's knowing what unconditional love feels like that really blows me away about being a parent, about being a mom.  I've never known what it truly means to love unconditionally, and in raising this flesh and blood of Mario and mine, I know.  I would give my life for this child.  I would sacrifice whatever I needed to for his happiness, his health, his life. And there is absolutely nothing that he coudl do or say that would make me stop loving him. My instinct is to wrap myself around him, protect, shield, hug and kiss (til he barfs (Larsen joke)), and never let go...I am now learning that it is all about letting go, giving in, realizing I never had the control in the first place, and loving in word and in deed every day.  I know I have a lot more to learn, but for today I laugh at what I understood about being a parent 366 days ago and cherish what I've learned in the last 365.  Here's to many many many more.  I love you Xavi.  Happy Birthday!